Renat Garifzyanov - what to do if you have lost your closest person. No paper. What to do if you have lost documents What to do if you have lost
Achievements of modern medicine there is no point in denying. They are expressed in a significant increase in life expectancy, and in a noticeable improvement in its quality, and a decrease in the mortality rate, including child mortality. After all, there was a time, and quite recently, when death in infancy, in early childhood, as well as miscarriages and stillborn children, were such a common occurrence that it was difficult to find a large family that had never encountered this.
But, of course, both then and now, a loss child turns into a crushing blow for, especially for women. How to withstand, how to withstand this blow? Don't break down, don't drink yourself to death, don't ruin your family, and don't commit suicide? These are very difficult questions that a grieving woman usually shouts into the void. There are no clear answers to them, and coping with grief will not be easy or simple. But you can’t give up and give in to depression. You need to, to the best of your ability, get through this difficult period in life as painlessly as possible for yourself and your loved ones.
Search support because you need it. Ask for it openly, don’t be shy. Unspokenness gives rise to a lot of suffering, so don’t torture yourself. Find someone who is willing to listen to you and help you with a simple, calming word. Someone who cares about you, whose opinion is important to you. And be sure to speak up.
Forgive yourself. When something very bad happens in life, a person begins to look for a reason. This behavior is due to the reluctance to get into such a situation again. Finding the cause goes hand in hand with finding the culprit. And the first on the list of culprits for a mother who has lost her child is always herself. There is no need for this, you are not to blame for anything. There is no point in asking questions like “Why me?” and “Why did this happen to me?” - they are meaningless and only bring pain. You'll never get the answers, so stop hurting yourself. And tell yourself: “It’s not my fault.” Say out loud, so that you believe it yourself, several times: “It’s not my fault. Losing a child is not my fault. It’s not my fault.” The feeling of guilt will hang heavily on you for a very long time, and it will not be easy for you to move on in life if you do not throw off this burden.
Make sure that after this, your the search for those to blame did not spread to others. Most often, the person closest to you at the moment, your man, falls under it. Don't blame him either. Don't blame anyone at all. Bad things happen, they happen, from time to time, and there is nothing we can do about it. It's no one's fault - repeat it like a mantra.
However, you may find yourself it's hard to look your husband in the eye. That happens. It is true what they say is that small troubles hold a family together, but big ones destroy it. Don't let your family fall apart. Don't avoid your husband, don't avoid talking to him. If it hurts you to see him, that's okay. This is normal, you have every right to do this, the main thing is to remember that neither he nor you are to blame for what happened. Perhaps you both need to be alone for a while. Say that you need to live on your own for a while, if possible. Be sure to clarify that you do not hold a grudge against him and do not consider him guilty. You don’t need to think that this is already obvious, be sure to say it out loud, looking into his eyes, so that he believes, so that there is no unsaidness left between the two of you.
Don't be offended by your family and friends who will start avoiding you. This may not happen, but don’t be upset, don’t be offended or angry if you see that in this difficult moment for you, when you really need help, you can’t find it anywhere, and your loved ones are trying not to cross your path. It takes a lot of courage to look into the eyes of a woman who has lost a child. People don't know how to react in such a situation. This often happens to them, they are afraid, and explain their behavior this way: “I don’t know what to talk to her about.” They begin to feel ashamed that everything is fine in their life, while grief is knocking on your door.
Try to lose yourself in work. Whatever you're doing, now is the time to pick up as many projects as possible and immerse yourself in them. Meaningful activity displaces heavy thoughts from your head and prevents you from going crazy. It is unknown how long it will take you to experience all this within yourself, maybe it will be a year, or maybe five years. In any case, starting your own career is now a very good option. But don’t close yourself off from people, especially from your own children, if you have them. Don't let yourself become a workaholic; remember that work is just a way for you to relieve stress.
If you dive into work for some reason is not an option, try going on a short trip. Don’t think about looking at other people’s opinions, you don’t need to think that this is inappropriate, and this is not how a grieving mother should behave. You don't owe anything to anyone and you certainly shouldn't mourn publicly. Your task is to survive it, and if someone doesn’t like the way you do it, then that’s entirely their problem, let them enjoy their own opinion. While traveling you will be a little distracted. A good option would be a trip to nature, or a trip to beautiful places. The noise of the metropolis is oppressive, nowhere does a person feel so lonely and abandoned as in a human anthill, and nowhere does he feel so united with the whole world as in nature, clean and fresh.
Look for those who have survived same misfortune, just like you. Today the Internet helps us a lot with this, but there are also special rehabilitation groups where you can communicate with other women who are going through or have already gone through such trouble more personally. When you see that you are not alone, that other women have also faced this at one time, you will have hope that one day the pain will go away and you can return to a normal existence. And move on with your life.
When we lose our jobs, we inevitably experience stress. Self-esteem, which is directly related to success at work, decreases. Anger, powerlessness, apathy are the faithful companions of the unemployed. How to cope with a crisis situation?
Use the energy of anger to find a new job
I don’t agree with the idea that if you lose your job, you need to pause, realize what happened and carefully consider your next steps. Experience with 5,200 clients shows that thinking doesn't make you angry. And the energy of anger is an effective engine for finding a suitable job. You need to strike while the iron is hot, and not be tormented by doubts.
It is interesting that many people know about the upcoming dismissal in advance, but do nothing. Such people look for the wisest solution, become immersed in thought, become despondent, and ultimately never come up with anything better than the original plan. In fact, every working person should think about what he will do if he is suddenly fired.
If you can't figure out what to do next, ask: What lessons can I learn from the situation? What went wrong at your previous job? What are my strengths and weaknesses? What would I like to get from my future job? What conditions will I not agree to for any money? These questions will help you define your goal.
Insist on favorable terms for terminating the employment contract
Workers are afraid to sue for illegal dismissal. Especially those who belong to the “risk group”: women, men over 40, people with disabilities... To avoid litigation, many employers offer a compromise: several salaries, extended insurance, good recommendations.
If the employer does not offer compensation for dismissal, demand it yourself, do not sign documents rashly. Take a couple of days to think and consult with a lawyer.
Prepare a story
Employers prefer to hire those who are currently working. Hiring an unemployed person means taking the risk that he was fired because he could not cope with his responsibilities. Recommendations can also not always be trusted: some unemployed people provide contacts of friends and relatives who are ready to confirm the qualifications of a “former colleague”.
Think about what you will write in cover letters and say during interviews. It's better to tell the truth. The point is not even that it is unethical to deceive: the deception may sooner or later be revealed, which will put you in a bad light. And of course, a real story always sounds better and more believable than a beautiful lie.
There is also a good side to losing your job: a new stage in life begins
Even if the reason for your dismissal is not very pleasant: abuse of official position or a serious mistake due to which the company suffered losses, tell your potential employer about it. Reassure him that this will not happen again. Describe your successes and ask for a chance. You may be refused, and more than once. But sooner or later there will be someone who will appreciate honesty, and later, work qualities.
What to do if you have lost your passport abroad: where to go, who to contact, necessary documents.
Losing your passport abroad is unpleasant, but not fatal. You are not the first and not the last to whom such a story happened, so the scheme for sending foreign citizens home in all tourist cities has already been worked out. So what to do? First of all, stop panicking.
Go to the police
If you are abroad and your documents, including your passport, have been stolen, you should contact the local police as soon as possible. It is unlikely that they will find a passport, but they will provide a temporary identity card. The police will tell you how to write a statement, make a copy of it and certify it. Ask for two copies: present one at the embassy, and the second will be useful to the Federal Migration Service upon returning to your homeland when you renew your passport. Additionally, if it is a theft rather than a loss, you will make a list of the items stolen and be advised of your rights, also in writing.
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Collect evidence
Before going to the embassy, find out exactly what documents will be required to restore your identity card.
Options are possible, but usually the set is standard:
- two photos;
- a Russian passport, its certified copy, a driver’s license, a hunting license or a library card - any document that contains your name, photograph and some kind of stamp;
- electronic copies of the international passport and Russian passport (in case you are great and made them on the eve of the trip);
You can notarize a Russian passport directly at the embassy, for a fee (in Barcelona it costs about 41 EUR per page), or from a Russian notary.
If you have nothing to show the embassy other than photographs, a statement to the police and your word of honor, then there is an option as a last resort. Two witnesses must come with you - two compatriots with Russian passports, who will confirm that you are you. Ideally, these should be your relatives, friends or acquaintances, but you can persuade any compatriots if they do not say that you met half an hour ago.
If there are no volunteers, you will have to call your friends in Russia and ask them to fax or e-mail a copy of your passport and go get it certified.
Go to the embassy
There is the following difficulty here. Embassies are usually located in capitals and large cities. If you happen to be left without a passport in some remote village, you will have to get out from there to the big city on your own. You won't be allowed on planes or trains without a passport, only buses and cars remain. If your driver’s license was also stolen, then only as a passenger, alas.
Keep in mind that embassies are usually open from morning to afternoon and may not be open every day. For example, in Spain, in Barcelona, the Embassy's opening hours are from 10:00 to 13:30, and in Bonn from 10:00 to 12:00. There is no need to make an appointment at the embassy, since the loss of documents is quite an emergency situation, and they will receive you without a queue.
If everything is in order with the documents, a certificate of the right to return to your homeland will be issued to you on the same day within a few hours, and you will present it at the airport at passport control on your way home. Keep in mind that this certificate is valid for 14 days, so if you came for a long vacation and lost your passport on the first day, you should start restoring it no earlier than 2 weeks before departure.
Go to the Federal Migration Service
Upon returning to Russia, you will need to go to the Federal Migration Service, which issued you a foreign passport. Even if your passport was stolen abroad, it is recommended to say that you lost it or drowned it at sea. By law, the police have three months to find the thief and return the original to you, so you'll have to wait. A lost passport is restored within 10-14 days.
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No one is protected from sudden job loss. You should not always be afraid, but you should nevertheless prepare in advance. If your money is in good order and you have a financial cushion, losing your job won't be a shock to you. If you are prepared, you won't have to deal with debt. You will choose a new job out of desire, not out of desperation. So, here are four steps that will allow you to properly prepare, study them and act according to the described plan.
Determine your financial situation
Assess your financial situation before you face a disaster. Many people don’t think about their income and debts because they don’t want to accept reality; they subconsciously understand that the situation is not the most rosy. In fact, ignorance is wrong; in a moment of crisis, you will wish you had thought about your money sooner. So, the first step in preparing for a hypothetical loss of income is to assess your financial situation. Do it at least once a year to monitor your progress. A lot can change in a year, so this approach will be correct. Always be aware, and then nothing can come as a shock to you, because you will be prepared for possible difficulties. 
Develop your network of work contacts and stay alert
Of course, layoffs can sometimes come as a real surprise, but there are some signs that can tell you a lot. How are your company's competitors doing? Is your boss planning layoffs? If you know the answer to such questions, you can understand whether your situation is stable. If layoffs are already happening, you should review your resume and prepare to look for new opportunities that will match your experience. Being proactive is the best thing you need at a time like this, so always try to be proactive. This will help you quickly get out of a difficult financial situation. 
Find out about severance pay and other benefits
Review your employer's termination policies in advance. Do former employees receive benefits? If so, on what basis is it calculated? Is experience taken into account, or maybe other criteria are important? You should know what to expect, because then it will be easier for you to understand what you can count on in a crisis. Be sure to find out in advance whether the company will pay for your insurance for a while, and if so, how long it will last. All this knowledge will be extremely useful for you: you can easily plan your actions in one or another scenario of further events.
Create an emergency fund
Now more than ever, everyone should consider having a rainy day fund. There is no consensus among financial experts on how many months of reserves should be set aside. You need to focus on how long you will look for a job that suits your level of experience and responsibility. The last thing you want at a critical time is to have to accept an unwanted job with low pay simply because you can't survive otherwise. The amount of money you have in your emergency fund will help you find a job that will bring you happiness. On average, financial experts advise saving money for six months of living without income. This amount will be a good basis for your personal reserve, guaranteeing your safety. Calculate your monthly budget and you will be able to understand what you need to do next and how you need to save. 
What if the worst happens?
Losing your job will be much easier to cope with if you are prepared financially and emotionally. Prepare for the worst, and if it does happen, you can survive it. To do this, you will need a few additional tips. For example, if you receive a post-employment benefit, try to spend it as carefully as possible, first paying off rent, rent or mortgage, car payments, bills and groceries. Evaluate your budget and you can understand which expenses are most important to you. If you can, get insurance as soon as possible. Try to stop using credit cards if you don't have a job yet. Use them only in critical situations. If you have loans, contact your creditors and let them know that you have lost your job but are actively looking for one, and negotiate for your payments to be reduced for a while. Finally, take an organized approach to your new job search. Start by updating your resume and talking to your network about all the options available to you. The financial aspects of job loss are a significant source of stress. If you are prepared, it will be much easier for you. This will allow you to reduce the emotional stress that is inevitable in such a situation. Emotional comfort will help you find a job faster.
Nowadays, people most often write about a lost or found document on the Internet: on various websites and on social networks. Some people are lucky and get their lost items returned to them. However, scammers may respond to messages, promising to return what they lost, and after receiving a reward, they will disappear.
That’s why many people go to the police: each department has a kind of lost and found office, where everything that people found and brought is stored. But you will definitely have to contact law enforcement if your documents are stolen.
Passport
If your passport was stolen, then you need to go to the police, write a statement about the theft, receive a notification coupon that your application was accepted, and go with it to the migration service. If the thief is found, then in the framework of a criminal case he can be brought a civil claim for compensation for damages associated with the replacement of documents.
If your passport was burned in a fire, you need to get a certificate about this from the Main Directorate of the Ministry of Emergency Situations of Russia for the Belgorod Region and go with it to the migration service.
If you have lost your passport, you must write an application for its restoration to the migration service. In this case, you will also need to pay a fine for loss - from 100 to 300 rubles.
To restore your passport, you need to provide any available documents: marriage certificate, birth certificate, or photocopies of a lost (stolen) passport. Even if there are no documents left, it’s okay. If you already had a passport, as part of the lost case, migration service employees will establish the person’s identity and issue a new document.
You also need to bring two 3 x 4 photographs to the migration service and pay the state fee 1.5 thousand rubles. A duplicate passport (i.e., the restored document will have the same validity period as the lost one) will be issued at the place of residence within ten days, at the place of stay (in another region) - within a month.
While the passport is being restored, migrant workers can issue a temporary identity card. To do this, you need to submit another 3 x 4 photo. A temporary ID has the same powers as a passport, so if you have lost other documents, it will help you recover them.
But if you lose your foreign passport, a duplicate is not provided; you will have to get it again.
Military ID
To restore your military ID, you need to contact the military registration and enlistment office. Provide a passport or other identification document and four 3 x 4 photos. If you are under 27 years old and have not completed military service, then you also need a medical certificate.
If your military ID was stolen or burned in a fire, you will not pay a fine, but if you lost it, you will pay from 100 to 500 rubles.
The military ID will be restored in about a month (if you applied at a location other than your place of registration, it may take longer). The military registration and enlistment office will have to check the documents provided and make written requests to the military unit where the person served. There is no state duty when restoring a military ID.
Driver's license
To restore your driver's license, you need to contact the interdistrict registration and examination department of the State Traffic Safety Inspectorate with a passport or other identification document. The MREO has an all-Russian database, so the place of registration does not matter.
The state duty for replacing a license is 2,000 rubles, if you contact through the State Services website, then 1 400 . After paying the fee and submitting the application, the certificate will be issued in an hour and a half - for the same period as the lost one.
If the validity period of the missing license has come to an end, then you can undergo a medical examination, present a medical certificate to the MREO and receive a new license, as if replaced upon expiration, for ten years.
There is no penalty for losing your driver's license.
TIN
The taxpayer identification number is restored at any inspection of the Federal Tax Service, regardless of the place of registration. You need to come there with a passport and pay a 300 ruble state fee. A new taxpayer registration certificate will be issued in five working days, but the TIN itself will not change: it is assigned once and for all.
Medical policy
To restore a medical policy, you need to bring your passport and SNILS (individual personal account insurance number) to any policy issuing point, regardless of the place of registration. Based on these documents, you will be issued a temporary certificate, which will be the basis for the provision of free medical care.
The policy will be ready within a month. And completely free.
SNILS
To obtain a duplicate of SNILS, you must contact any branch of the pension fund, regardless of the place of registration. All you need is a passport and an application for a duplicate.
SNILS is restored on the day of application. The procedure is free.
Bank card
The main thing you need to know if you lose your bank card is that it needs to be blocked immediately. This can be done through your personal account, by calling the hotline or at the nearest branch of the relevant bank. In this case, the online bank is not blocked. In addition, you can withdraw cash from your account at a bank branch.
It takes an average of two to four weeks to restore a plastic card. Each bank costs this service differently. Sometimes when a card is restored, its conditions change.
Store cards
Store discount and bonus cards are restored by first name, last name, phone number and date of birth. And completely free. In this case, all bonuses that were on the lost card will remain.
Alexey Stopichev
