How to like a pen pal in VK: useful tips. How to interest a guy by correspondence How to like a guy in online correspondence

Today, more and more often, princes are not found in beautiful castles, but on the Internet - social networks and dating sites. Such online relationships attract not only insecure girls, but also just busy women.

If you have a worthy young man in your online contacts, why not take advantage of the situation and try to turn non-committal messaging into something more? The following tips will help you understand how to interest a pen pal.

Suppose, while scrolling through the pages of men on Vkontakte or on a dating site, you notice a photo of a handsome man and decide to start a conversation with him.

In order for correspondence with a guy to bring you only pleasure, it is important to follow a few rules.

Rule number 1. You need to attract the attention of a man

To please a representative of a strong sex in VK, you should not “like” indiscriminately all his photos, music and video files. Just send a friend request, justifying it with something.

For example, you liked his photographs from the last cruise. There are two possible scenarios for the development of the situation:

1. If you have also visited this place, specify that you want to remember the pleasant moments of your vacation.
2. If these sights are unfamiliar to you, ask the young man to tell you about them, since you planned to go there.

That is, you attract attention, you are the first to enter into a conversation, and he can already support him or refuse to communicate. Most likely, if you are polite and witty, he will not refuse to accept you as "friends".

Rule #2: Find Common Interests

If you want to please a man when communicating in contact, find out as much as possible about his hobbies, hobbies and. You can do this after scrupulously studying his personal page:

• in photographs, a guy can capture, for example, fishing, diving, tattoos;
• musical preferences are obvious by the presence of tracks on the page;
• check the list of groups in which he is a member;
• look at his buddies, especially the ones on the "best" list.

Don't consider this espionage, but secrecy is best kept. No one needs to know that you are going to seduce or just like a particular young man by correspondence.

Rule #3

If you have already started a conversation, behave properly. What does this mean? You should not immediately rush to your laptop after waking up to write a grand "hello" and start a long conversation.

Try waiting until the guy texts first. If he is in no hurry to communicate with you in contact, once a day it is allowed to start a conversation on his own initiative. And in general - it is better to look at the situation!

Rule #4

You can and ordinary literacy. This will set you apart from the general mass of girls who make grammatical errors and slang words in correspondence.

Messages like this turn off many young people, so try to write correctly, and if you are not sure of yourself, refer to online resources that correct mistakes.

Rule #5

Be sure to study your page on Vkontakte, bringing it into a "divine" form.

Read profile information, review photos, videos and audio files. Do they contain "compromising evidence" on you?

Ruthlessly delete all incomprehensible entries, just don’t try to lick your account too much or make it as similar as possible to the male one, since the guy will communicate with a living person with his own preferences.

Rule #6

If you are determined not only to correspond with a man, but also to organize a real meeting, put your own image on the avatar, preferably fresh and not too “photoshopped”.

A young man will simply be disappointed when he sees a completely different young lady on a date than in the photo. Therefore, conduct a conversation on your behalf and face!

How to chat with a man?

When discussing how to interest a man by correspondence and communicate with him correctly, first decide on the ultimate goal of your conversations.

What do you want from a young man: just have a nice conversation in contact, or do you want to seduce a guy? We offer some specific advice.

1. Be yourself. Wishing, some young ladies begin to lie and build themselves into a bitch or a modest one. If you don't want to stop at socializing in contact, behave naturally. Deception will be revealed sooner or later, and the relationship may end.
2. Be polite. Good manners and politeness are always in fashion. Say hello and goodbye, do not be afraid to thank once again for a compliment or advice. Of course, one should exclude boorish or vulgar words and, moreover, mate. You can hook a man with your intelligence.
3. Joke more often. A sense of humor immensely adorns girls. If a young lady knows how to joke, make laugh and understand the jokes and jokes addressed to her, a conversation with her gives the guy only pleasure.
4. Avoid harsh flattery. Rude flattery and sugary phrases are not the best way to please a young man. Sincere compliments, on the other hand, are welcome. For example, pay attention to his muscular figure, the ability to understand computer "insides".
5. Don't impose. We repeat once again - do not bombard the guy with messages on VK if he suddenly stops responding. He is probably busy, away from the computer, taking a break from communicating on the Internet, or simply cannot find a topic for conversation. In the latter case, ask him a neutral question that allows him to continue the conversation.
6. . You need to be interested in a man, but you should not delve into his personal life. At the initial stage, avoid questions about his ex-girlfriends. Then, when you begin to communicate more closely or move to a serious level of relationship, you can return to this moment.
7. Avoid intimate topics. An overly frank conversation with a stranger is not the best option for starting an acquaintance in contact, unless you are discussing the question of how to get a guy and have a quick sleep with him. If the conversation takes on a sexual connotation, gently hint that you still know each other too little, but in the future ...
8. Be positive. The conversation should be predominantly positive. Do not complain about your difficulties in life, the only exception is if the guy talks about his problem, and you want to support him by saying that you are in a similar situation. However, it is better to give up despondency and not bother the man with your troubles.

For now, content yourself with general questions. Examples of topics are literature, travel, cinema, hobbies, close relatives, funny and unusual stories from the past.

The main signal that helps determine whether you managed to please a young man and attract his attention is the willingness to communicate with you on VK and other social networks. You are more likely to please your interlocutor if he:

Another indicator is how willingly the guy shares secrets with you or just things that are important to him. This can be tested by asking him a few questions about how he spent the day, what interesting things happened at work or at the university.

True, if a man is tired or simply not in the mood, it is better to postpone such questions so as not to provoke irritation.

Having decided how to start a correspondence with a guy, you need to find out the signs that communication with him is becoming unproductive, uninteresting and inconvenient.

It is best not to impose, but to end the conversation in time so that both parties have only the best memories.

It is quite possible that, having become bored, after a while the young man himself will take the initiative and write first.

The recommendations above on how to get a pen pal interested are only rough tips. You yourself can evaluate how pleasant the interlocutor in contact is to you and how to behave with him in certain situations.

A man from a social network offers to meet in real life? Agree if you are confident in the possibility of taking the relationship to a more serious level. After all, it was for this that you tried to please a young man, wasn't it?

Hello, I'm Nadezhda Plotnikova. Having successfully studied at SUSU as a special psychologist, she devoted several years to working with children with developmental problems and advising parents on raising children. I apply the experience gained, among other things, in the creation of psychological articles. Of course, by no means do I pretend to be the ultimate truth, but I hope that my articles will help dear readers deal with any difficulties.

A languid look, meaningful sighs, fleeting touches... With such an arsenal, even the most persistent of men will lose their heads. But you never know girls have secrets to attract the attention of the opposite sex!

But what if you met on the Internet, and a real meeting “shines” for you very soon? How to make a pen pal fall in love with you?

Will ordinary correspondence with a guy be able to evoke feelings in his heart that even remotely resemble love?

How and where to meet

We spend most of our time online. Do you remember the last time you met someone in a cafe, transport or just on the street?

If some 10 years ago we were embarrassed to tell that we met our future husband on a dating site, today it has become commonplace:

• We solve all important cases in Viber, WhatsApp and Telegram
• share photos on Instagram
• discuss news on Facebook and communicate with friends via SMS

Our whole life is centered here. But why is it easy to get to know someone, but to seriously interest and fall in love with a guy on the Internet is already more difficult?

Where to begin?

The time has passed when all that was left for a woman was to sit and wait for the weather by the sea. It's time to take matters into your own hands. Therefore, we go to the site and begin the selection of potential candidates.

But you should not act thoughtlessly - follow some unspoken rules to achieve the desired results.

Rule #1 Check your profile

Do you have any entries in your profile or on the wall of the social network that could make you not in the best light? The presence in the albums of photos where you are half-naked does not add points to you either.

At heart, all men are owners. If you are set for a serious long-term relationship, you better play it safe and remove the pictures that can compromise you.

Nude pictures, of course, can attract a guy on the Internet, but such a man clearly does not dream of taking you to the altar. He will just admire your figure and go home.

Rule #2 Don't be afraid to text him first

Men love women who take the initiative. How to get a guy interested in a pen pal? What to write? Do not overload a man with unnecessary information from the very beginning.

Remember that you have just invaded his personal space. Therefore, it is necessary to act decisively, but wisely. Start with something neutral like "Hello!" Do not go into details of the purpose of your "visit", but first wait for his response.

Rule #3 Keep track of time

You should not write to him at night from the very beginning. Look at the time - maybe right now he gets to work through the whole city through traffic jams. Or, conversely, busy at an important meeting.

Your messages will only be associated with annoyance

In addition, his mood at this time of day can leave much to be desired. Choose the evening time, but make sure that the clock is no later than midnight.

Rule #4 Don't talk about the past

The most common female mistake is to mention your ex from the first lines of correspondence. Do not ask unnecessary questions about his past. You never know, suddenly it can ruin his mood. You don't know what and how. The time will come, and she will tell you everything.

Rule #5 Don't rush things

Hurry to transfer SMS communication with a guy in real life? Do not put pressure on a man with this question. If you see that he does not support this idea, it may be better to postpone it for later. Don't worry, men can be scared too.

He's probably just not quite ready yet. After all, it was you who found him, not he you. Have a little patience, because our main goal is correspondence with a man who will hook him so much that he himself will beg you for a speedy meeting. It is unlikely that he is going to build a lifelong relationship by correspondence. The day will come and you will receive an invitation to your first date.

Rule #6 Don't make big plans

No matter how easy a man may seem to you in communication, do not start talking about your plans and goals. You don't know each other well enough to discuss the future. There is a danger that he will take everything you say at his own expense.

Especially talking about marriage and children. This can simply scare a man away, because each of them fancies himself an inveterate bachelor and is convinced that he will never marry. Well, he just hasn't met you before.

Rule #7 Literacy

There is no one answer to the question: "How to make a pen pal fall in love." What a man will definitely like in communication is your culture of speech and style of presentation of thoughts. After all, this is your clothes, which are met with online dating.

Try to write correctly and avoid typos. When in doubt, it is better to check how a particular word is spelled.

Rule #8 Explain your emotions

The problem with all correspondence is that we cannot always correctly interpret what our interlocutor was trying to convey to us.

Sometimes we do not always understand what a message in a messenger means from a friend with whom we have been friends for 10 years and usually understand each other from a half glance. And here is a practically unfamiliar man, who, by the way, we want to like.

Not the best time to explain that you just expressed yourself incorrectly, and he did not understand the joke and was offended.

Use emoticons and emojis to let him know you're joking, but don't try to replace whole sentences with them. Such communication is more suitable for teenagers.

How to interest a guy seriously and for a long time?

We figured out the basic rules of correspondence with men. The most important thing is how to get a guy by SMS. Yes, make it so that all his thoughts are only about you.

Let's try? The most important thing is not to forget how you should communicate.

Refrain from platitudes

Do not write him trivial things that make you one of a million of the same girls. All these “smacks”, “sweet dreams” and “cemics” are already pretty fed up.

Be yourself and choose words that he will associate only with you.

Don't hesitate to compare

With no one and never. Especially with ex-boyfriends. As already mentioned, the topic of the former is taboo. Unless, of course, he himself will not affect her. But in this case, it is not necessary to expand on this topic too much. It was and it was. Now it doesn't make any sense. We drove.

Don't talk bad about yourself

Your complexes are mostly far-fetched. It's not up to you to decide what he likes about you and what he doesn't. Perhaps he will fall in love with you precisely for this hump on your nose, which has been “spoiling” your life since the fifth grade of high school. And the real shortcomings are also not worth mentioning yet. Talk about yourself only in a good way.

Look for new themes

Talking about the weather is the most boring and dull thing you can think of. Leave this topic to the grandmothers on the bench. Carefully find out what he is interested in and "dig" in this direction. Tell us something unusual that has happened to you lately.

Don't answer dryly

It may seem to him that you are not interested in further communication. Thus, your conversation will quickly come to naught. Warm up his interest with juicy details.

Call him by his name

Oh, this is the sweetest sound for every person. This custom set of letters works wonders.

Addressing a person by name, on a subconscious level, you become closer to him.

Let him be bored

Some girls do not let a man get bored and attack him with messages. Take a break and wait for him to text you first. Men do not appreciate what goes into their hands.

Add intrigue

There is a little intriguer in every woman. Men do not know how to endure, they want to get everything at once.

So if you cryptically promise to "meet someone" or "show him something interesting," he'll be so turned on that he won't leave you until you make good on your promise.

And you actually wanted to send him a photo of your cat. You never know what he came up with. This is a common example, perhaps not the best.

Think about what you have that could intrigue him in earnest?

Don't reply to a message right away

Do not run headlong to the phone as soon as the SMS notification arrives. Let him know that he is not the center of your Universe. Do not delay until tomorrow with an answer, but you should not answer right away either.

Proportionate amount of text

Do not scribble the essay "How I spent the summer with my grandmother in the village." The volume of your messages should not exceed the number of characters that he sent you. And don't mess with the messages.

If he sent you, say, 2 SMS, you should not unnecessarily sign 20 response messages. Shut up your fountain of eloquence. Do not be offended, but such a tactic of a girl discourages all desire to communicate.

Don't talk about yourself

We are all selfish, and that's okay. But forget about it, at least for a while. Talk about him, about him, and again about him. If he wants to talk about you, your hobbies and preferences, he will ask you these questions himself. Rejoice in his successes, admire him.

Communicate Regularly

He should get used to the fact that his morning begins with a message to you, and you need to fall asleep only after saying good night to you. "Hook" him into correspondence with you.

If, even after all your actions, the guy clearly does not move closer, then perhaps you should step back from the intended goal.

After all, you can't please everyone without exception. And that's okay. You should not puzzle over why you failed to build a relationship and what you did wrong by deciding to make a man fall in love with you by correspondence. Don't despair and don't take it personally. There will definitely be someone in your life who will appreciate you!

Today, a huge number of acquaintances occur in social networks. And here the questions arise, how to attract attention, how to make a good impression about yourself, if the usual tools, such as voice, smile, lively facial expressions, are not available? In fact, even ordinary, printed text can be exciting, romantic, and exciting. By correspondence, you can fall in love, lose your head, want to translate the relationship into reality. However, it is very easy to mess things up.

What to Consider

If a guy is texting you, it means that he is initially ready for this format of relationships. In addition, he probably faces the same questions as you do. He tries to present himself in the best light, thinks over the text of his messages, waits for your answer, rereads it several times, etc. Therefore, you are practically on an equal footing with him. However, he can correspond with several girls at the same time, and it is advisable for you to stand out from the total number, be remembered by him, and draw maximum attention to yourself. Before you plunge into the world of virtual communication, pay attention to some aspects of this format, namely:

• The printed text itself does not convey intonation. The same phrase can be perceived differently. Therefore, various tricks should be used, such as emoticons, funny words, affectionate abbreviations, etc.
• The message can always be re-read. Therefore, you should carefully monitor what you write. Perhaps then the guy will re-read your dialogue several times and in dubious places, if any, he will be able to see an unpleasant subtext or an unwanted hint. If you have already made such a mistake, it is better to immediately send an explanation after the message, or at least a clarification like “joke”, “sarcasm”, etc.
• It is necessary to maintain the rhythm of communication. This means that you should not bombard the guy with messages too often without giving him the opportunity to respond. While he is typing a successful comment on one of your phrases, you will throw him three more, and his answer will be irrelevant. He will have to erase it, write a new one. In the end, it can cause irritation. But long pauses should not be allowed. While you are gathering your thoughts, other girls can write to him and grab his attention.
• You should not ask several questions in a row so that the dialogue does not begin to resemble an interview. It is better to insert questions that interest you periodically in the text. Or ask after the guy himself offers, saying, for example: “If you want to know something about me, ask, I will answer honestly any questions.” And in this case, give him the opportunity to calmly answer, wait for the message.
• When correspondence captures, a person subconsciously expects some pleasant surprises. For example, getting a positive message in the morning as soon as you wake up. So if the guy is offline at the moment, you can send him some nice words like, “Hurrah! Finally you have arrived! I miss you". And the first thing he will do on this day is smile, and this smile will be associated with your name.

You should also take into account the mood of a person, which is felt from the text of messages. Be tactful, try to respond accordingly. If he is in a romantic mood, engage in a dialogue in this vein, if he enthusiastically tells you about the events of the day, show interest, be happy for him, be surprised in the right places, etc.

What and how to write

If speech remains your only weapon, then it should be beautiful and capacious. To make a good impression, you need to follow a few simple rules, namely:

• Write without errors, put punctuation marks. This is not difficult, but it causes respect for the writer. Mistakes, on the contrary, cut the eye, provoke the interlocutor to comments, create a reputation as a stupid, illiterate person.
• If we are already talking about literacy and the desire to please a guy, then this is what should be noted: try not to correct him if he writes with errors. However, pay attention to this, it seems that he is not so eager to please you.
• Try to talk about pleasant things. The vast majority of young people do not want to discuss difficult, sad or unpleasant topics when communicating with a girl. Negativity is quite enough in real life, with virtual communication, people just want to take a break from it.
• Periodically change the topic of discussion, do not let the conversation slip into a monotonous rut ​​and become boring. In addition, it will give you the image of a well-rounded girl with a broad outlook.
• Carefully emphasize your merits - so that it does not look like bragging, but so that the guy understands that you have certain talents. For example, you should not say: “I know how to bake cakes”, it’s better to say: “Yesterday I left a freshly baked cake unattended, as a result, the cat licked half the cream!”
• Let the guy prove himself, let him be useful. For example, ask him for advice on something or tips. It is not necessary to use this advice later, but thanking the guy and praising him is a must.

These simple tips can at some point help build a communication model. But it's more important to know what not to do. After all, it takes time to earn the attention and respect of a young man, but to lose both, one phrase is enough. Moreover, you can make a mistake both at the very beginning of communication, and already with a rather long acquaintance. Therefore, you should not lose vigilance, you must always be on the alert.

What not to do

So, in order to avoid getting into an awkward situation, in order not to suffer because of a stupid message, which, of course, is already impossible to return, it is necessary to set a few taboos for yourself in advance. By the way, some tips are quite applicable to real life, and not just to virtual communication. To please a guy when texting, avoid the following:

• Do not use vulgar, slang and especially abusive words. In most cases, this immediately repels guys.
• Don't start conversations with questions like date and place of birth, education, height, weight, etc. In other words, don't turn your conversation into a job interview. All these little things can be clarified later in the process of communication.
• Do not lay out all the ins and outs about yourself at once. This destroys the halo of romance and mystery, deprives the guy of the opportunity to think of something, to fantasize.
• Do not take literally the question of a young man if he asks, for example, to list five of your shortcomings. There is no need to talk about the main thing right away. Translate it into a joke, listing, for example, sentimentality, gullibility, fearfulness, forgetfulness, and modesty.
• If a guy gives a compliment, take it with gratitude and moderate embarrassment. Do not immediately say: “What are you! You're wrong, I'm just not like that. Just say, "Thank you, I'm so glad to hear that from you."
• Do not argue with him, and even more so do not prove him wrong. The only thing you can prove with this is that you are completely unsuitable for him. If the question touches on a topic that is too fundamental for you, it’s better to just close it by saying: “Let's not talk about it, I already have an established opinion on this matter, and I don’t want to discuss it now.”
• Do not bring up your ex-boyfriends in conversation and do not compare him with them. Even if you try to make a comparison in favor of a guy, he will still have an unpleasant aftertaste in his soul. Even if he asks you about it, it’s better to laugh it off: “What ex-boyfriend? I don’t remember something, probably, it’s still only in the future!”
• Do not complain to him about your difficulties and do not mention health problems, if any. To start a conversation, this is redundant information. Such topics can be discussed with a person who is well acquainted, after the impression of you has been made.
• Do not underestimate your virtues for the sake of showing modesty. If a guy praises you for your ability, for example, to write poetry, do not say that it happened to you by chance for the first time in your life. Just say that sometimes the right mood comes over you.
• Don't spam him too much. Try to catch this line between too long pauses and a continuous stream of messages. Let him write first. If this does not happen, gently remind yourself, but do not be intrusive.

In general, it is desirable to create the impression of an active, sought-after girl who already has a rich, exciting life. The guy should not think that white light has converged on him for you. Mention in the conversation that you have some kind of trip or interesting event coming up, that your friends invited you to some kind of party, etc. Then the last event can be discussed. Mention that you play sports or have a hobby, in other words, that you already have something to do besides writing messages.

What to text a guy first: easy ways to impress

The power of a compliment

Common denominator

Life hack from a psychologist

Rule 1. The main thing is to start

Rule 3. Be correct

Rule 5

Dating site selection

Preparatory work: before writing

Before you surf the vastness of a dating site, check if everything is in order with your virtual face - a profile that, like the right dress, should emphasize the advantages and hide the flaws. We have already analyzed in detail, on a dating site, in order to leave a clear, capacious and vivid impression about ourselves. Read.

She put herself in order - with the gaze of a tracker, study the profile of the guy to whom she was going to write, desperately flashing her eyes. The enemy must be known by sight. Any profile on a dating site, except for an empty one, provides a lot of useful information. In particular, it answers the question of what words to write to the guy first. Cling to the kindly provided information.

What to write to a guy you like: set goals

While you're scratching your head about what to write to a guy, I'll ask you this question: is goal setting an important condition for success. And I will answer right away: yes. The destination is the point of arrival. A goal is a clearly articulated desire. Having decided on the goal, you are looking for (and usually find) the means (words) to achieve it. Without a goal, you go somewhere and you end up somewhere. Like in the fairy tale about Alice.

“Tell me, please, where should I go from here?”

– Where do you want to go? - answered the cat.

"I don't care..." Alice said.

“Then it doesn’t matter where you go,” said the Cat.

Don't be Alice. Set transparent goals. Realize why you are wasting precious time looking for a partner for what? For example, walking through galleries, having tantric sex, creating a cell of society. Each goal has its own style of communication. By the way, what a manner - to write first. You must have asked yourself this question a hundred times.

Why It's Important to Write First: Benefits of the Initiative

Contrary to the stereotype “the first step should be taken by a man”, a commercially profitable event. Firstly, there are few girls who “write first”, and the attitude towards them is appropriate - as reverent as towards rare precious metals. Secondly, you get the opportunity to choose among ALL, and not among those who wrote to you (admit it, more than 90% of those who wrote are guys of low social demand). Thirdly, it is a skill that is useful in every sense - to take, and not to wait. Having become adept at dating sites, you can use it everywhere.

What to write to a guy first: simple ways to impress

Now dip your pen into the inkwell and write. And although the banal “Hi, how are you”, uttered by the lips of a woman, loses its blurryness and acquires fresh coquettishness, it’s worth throwing your brains around in order not only to grab attention, but to make an indelible impression. This is easy to do with a compliment.

The power of a compliment

It is rather strange that so few women use a simple way to win over any man on a dating site - to give a compliment. The compliment should be light and relevant. Leave the eloquence of the times of the Egyptian pharaohs in the bins of your rich spiritual world. “Your eagle eye pierced my quivering heart” - something like that will at best cause a smile, and sometimes it can even offend the interlocutor.

Men like it when their tribal advantages are emphasized - sexuality, strength, will: “I have never met such expressive biceps!”, “Who gave you such an amazing smile?”, “I want to make sure that handsome guys are interesting conversationalists. Can you help?”, “I don’t know what you have more – magnetism or romance, but you are definitely not like the others.” Praise those virtues that exist in reality, and not illusory. Talking to a slender guy about biceps is at least merciless.

Common denominator

You can approach from the other side. Like a trampoline, push off from the general moments. “Hello! I saw your photos from Tbilisi. I'm just planning to go there. I want to ask a few questions about the city and your impressions. Do you mind?”, “I also often visit this park, but I have never seen you. How could I miss it?”, “Is this luxurious Doberman yours? I have always dreamed of having a dog. Is it true that Dobermans, contrary to popular belief about their aggressiveness, are friendly and peaceful?

Life hack from a psychologist

To feel confident in any situation, and not just on a dating site, take on board the following life hack. If you don't know how to start or maintain a conversation, ask questions. Firstly, you will save the interlocutor from a headache, what to say, so that the conversation flows like a babbling stream. Secondly, the question form of communication will emphasize your focus on it.

Phrases for dating a guy on the Internet: TOP-100

In continuation of the conversation about the women's initiative, there are many examples on the topic “do not sit like a fair maiden, but write first”. Here's what you can write to a guy so as not to cross the fine line between light flirting and obscene behavior.

1. I am a journalist. I'm doing a survey for a dating site. May I ask you a few questions? The first of them - how do you feel about girls who meet first?
2. I read that a person needs to use 70 muscles to smile. I suggest you start downloading them right now. Smile and let's meet!
3. I choose cufflinks as a gift for dad. Won't you help? Such a stylish young man should understand this.
4. What ties are in fashion these days? I need to buy a gift for my brother, and I understand ties like screwdrivers.
5. Do you know what an electrical discharge is? This is what happened when I looked at your picture.
6. You look like the guy I saw in my dream the other day. True, he was not alone, but with a white horse. Isn't that you?
7. Can you tell me how to change the candles / oil in "any brand of car"?
8. I pressed something on the computer keyboard and everything went blank. What could it be?
9. Do you really think that the Internet is a place where serious relationships can start?
10. Why is such a spectacular guy looking for a girlfriend on the Internet? I'm sure in real life girls follow you in droves.
11. I want to make sure that a handsome guy can be an interesting conversationalist. Will you help?
12. You look like a wild animal - brave, smart and daring. And yet I think I can tame you.
13. I want to ask you one question - what can you write to a guy you like?
14. Why so thoughtful in the photo? Don't be sad. Life is wonderful. At least because there is me.
15. I want to watch a movie tonight. Can you recommend something? It seems to me that you are well versed in cinema and not only.
16. Suggest some book. I can't choose, and you look like a well-read young man.
17. I also like this park (city, horse riding). I wonder what else we are similar?
18. It's amazing how a simple photograph can convey so many emotions.
19. I have never met a man with such a deep look. I'm impressed.
20. So many secrets in those beautiful eyes. Will you share one of them with me?
21. Before I saw you, I only read about alpha males in magazines.
22. You look like you're hugging him. It gets warm right away."
23. Such a look ... Having seen it, neither income, nor education, nor the presence of bad habits any longer matter.
24. You look great. An innate sense of taste or do you follow trends?
25. Hello. I've been looking for you everywhere for so long. And you appear to be here.
26. I saw your profile, and now I'm worried about one question ...
27. Is it just me, or have you actually acted in a movie?
28. Probably, girls often invite you for a walk in the registry office?
29. Tell me how to please one charming guy on this dating site?
30. What do you think is more important for a girl - to be beautiful or smart? And which one do you prefer?
31. How do you like the news that “the plot of the latest news (for example, the ruble has fallen sharply)”?
32. Do you believe in love at first sight or do you prefer to look closely?
33. I wonder if such a romantic young man listens to the voice of his heart or reason?
34. Do you think it's worth making decisions based on intuition?
35. Name your favorite movie. Maybe that's what I'll watch tonight.
36. Have you been told that you make a lasting impression on girls?
37. You've probably been told a thousand times that you're beautiful. But it's also nice to hear for the thousand and first time, isn't it?
38. Invited to my uncle's birthday. Can you tell me what to donate?
39. The guys are very tech savvy. Can you help me choose headphones / player / phone?
40. Do you think love is relevant or already a relic of the past?
41. If you could be a woman for a while, what would be the first thing you would do?
42. Could you call me on my mobile? Lost, can't find.
43. If you had a time machine, where would you like to go?
44. Do you like to pop bubbles on a packaging bag as much as I do?
45. Are you seriously considering this site as a resource for finding a girl?
46. I wonder if such a serious man has ever done crazy things?
47. And what brings you here?
48. Do you want me to cheer you up?
49. Are you by any chance the guy of my dreams?
50. How do you feel about women's initiative?
51. Why do men like stupid girls?
52. And how long have you been stealing women's hearts?
53. Your smile makes me lose my sanity.
54. You look like a purebred cat. So I want to hug you.
55. Sky, tree, supermarket wall…. What do you see from the window?
56. I have problems with my eyes. I can't take them off your profile.
57. Hello. We need a man's opinion on one issue. Can you help me?
58. Oh, have you been to "city/place name"? And how did you like it there?
59. Let's skip the official part of the introduction and move on to the more important part.
60. Maybe we’ll get to know each other, or will we silently look through each other’s profiles?
61. I have a feeling that you, having looked through my profile, did not know how to roll up. Here, I decided to help you.
62. I thought for a long time about a good phrase to start dating, but decided not to complicate it. Let's get acquainted without boring clever words?
63. How about communication without obligation?
64. What do you think we have in common?
65. There are advantages, but what about the disadvantages?
66. I would like to know more about you than just your name.
67. I wonder what is behind this beautiful facade?
68. You have x-ray eyes. Perhaps you can't hide anything from you?
69. You have a luxurious look. Now it's your turn to compliment.
70. Could you explain to me one of the rules of the road?
71. I am a guest from the future and sent to the "dating site" to make your life better and happier.
72. I am writing an article about web dating. May I ask you a couple of questions?
73. I'm writing a book about how to get to know a guy. Your independent opinion is interesting.
74. Your presence here turns the other guys into a faceless mass.
75. You create the impression of a fortress where you can find shelter and feel safe.
76. Young man, you hurt my heart, and now you are obliged to provide me with medical assistance.
77. I promised my cat that today I would meet the most handsome guy on the site.
78. They say that initiative is punishable, and at the same time it is better to regret what you have done than what you have not done. Let's meet?
79. With a man like that, you don't even need a blanket. So much warmth from you!
80. I get embarrassed when you look at me and don't write anything.
81. Would you like to take me to a cafe one evening?
82. Young man, can you tell me if you like me?
83. Will you take me out of the labyrinth of loneliness?
84. I'm drowning looking into your eyes. Save urgently!
85. So that's what a magnetic look is...
86. I have never seen such expressive cheekbones.
87. Is it true that all men are polygamous?
88. You can even go to a desert island with you.
89. What attracts you the most in girls?
90. What is the difference between a screwdriver and a drill?
91. If tomorrow is the end of the world, what would you do today?
92. I feel that you are not like everyone else. I want to understand why.
93. Do you think money can buy happiness?
94. Did you know that reproduction in space is impossible?
95. I dreamed of Freud today. What do you think that would mean?
96. They say that the trainer's wife gets sugar after good sex!
97. Do you also think that female logic incapacitates the male psyche?
98. I wonder why men after refueling a car shake the gun in the tank?
99. What happens if you press the gas and brake at the same time in a car?
100. I wonder if you fold or scatter your socks?

What then: how to keep his attention and interest

In principle, in order to, a lot of mind is not needed. Enough pleasant appearance and unobtrusive initiative. But so that interest does not evaporate at the speed of boiling water, maintain the right degree.

• Do not expose the acute need for communication and excitement about its absence. “Where have you gone”, “Why don’t you write”, “I am waiting for your answer” - phrases to defeat.
• Talk mostly about him - everyone likes to be talked about. Speak, don't talk. Don't be a Real Madrid fan if you don't know what a penalty is.
• Good throw - ask for help. Men like women who ask for help. This makes them feel masculine and smart, that is, feel superior. “Choose a lawn mower for my dad for his birthday – do you think Makita or Husqvarna is better?”, “Given (name of the game), but I can’t get past the seventh level! You are a cool gamer. Help me out!” (if he is a cool gamer).

Remember that communication for the sake of communication has no practical meaning if the purpose of your stay is not to stretch your fingers. As soon as you are convinced of the adequacy and safety of your partner, go to real. Everything interesting happens there.

Summary: 5 important rules for interesting and effective correspondence

In the meantime, you are here, and not there, download into the unconscious the basic rules (no rules anywhere) of interesting and effective correspondence.

Rule 1. The main thing is to start

The first rule of communication on a dating site is to start a conversation. We found out that the problem of what to write to the guy first does not exist. You can indicate your interest with a banal “Hello”, having tested the ground, whether the partner makes contact or loves only blondes (when you are a brunette). Or go to a higher level - compliments and immersion.

Rule 2: Be meaningful

Don't bother how to beautifully write to a guy on. Literary talent is an asset, but without the right stuffing, a sense of language doesn't matter. Men are a different audience. They don't like pretty quotes. It is important - not how, but what to write to a guy in order to interest him. Be a brilliant conversationalist. Here is the recipe from Lisa Kirk: “A gossip is someone who talks to you about others, a bore is someone who talks to you about himself, and a brilliant conversationalist is someone who talks to you about you.”

Rule 3. Be correct

His ins and outs don't concern you yet. Questions about the financial situation, the number of divorces, hemorrhoids in the anamnesis hold back. At this stage of dating, skeletons in the closet are not considered. You will arrange an interrogation with predilection later. For example, before you go under the march of Mendelssohn into a brighter future.

Rule 4

As soon as you turn on the “half”, which is bored, suffering and otherwise demonstrates its inferiority without it, write, it’s gone. Forget the word forms that emphasize your inferiority against the background of its significance like a bad dream (“I miss you”, “I miss you”, “You have become the meaning of my life”). And without esotericism (“Fate itself brought us together”).

Rule 5

It’s better not to finish talking about yourself - briefly answer his questions and cover yourself with a veil. Watch out for the halo of mystery. Don't be a shirt-guy and open your soul. It is interesting to recognize a mysterious stranger.

What to write to a guy, we offered examples. They are enough to demonstrate their originality and psychological maturity. That's just theory without practice is not worth a damn. Therefore, right now, register the questionnaire and start exercising. Good luck!

Communication with new people is certainly a very exciting thing, it gives strength, inspiration and self-confidence. But what to do when there is no way to look the interlocutor in the eye, touch, explain yourself with facial expressions and gestures? And the situation becomes even more difficult when you have to write to the guy you like.

It seems that everything is so simple for men: if you like a girl, go up to her or write to her, get to know her, invite her to meet. But from a woman, such a step is perceived ambiguously. Does it remind you of something? Is it grandma's advice? Then the time has come to cast aside all prejudices and take the initiative.

Starting to establish acquaintances on different sides of the screen is not an easy task, and it is especially difficult for a girl to decide on it. Scrolling through profiles in contact, facebook or classmates, you do not feel embarrassed. But writing is already a personal contact, because of which you easily begin to worry. Thoughts are jumping, hands are shaking, and all smart words immediately fly out of my head. In such a situation, you should immediately pull yourself together and act wisely.

• Don't be afraid to be first. No matter what society says, you do not live in the 19th century and the etiquette of communication between a man and a woman has long gone from the level of Tatyana Larina's standards. If she decides, then you will be even more lucky. Start a conversation first. Don't be shy and don't belittle yourself, but don't show your obvious interest in the guy's persona either. If you wrote to him, this is already a sufficient demonstration of interest.
• Chat freely. Do not try to please him in everything and support topics that are not interesting to you. You are a person, and you have your own opinion on every issue, do not be afraid to express it - of course, within the limits of decency.
• Don't overdo the breaks. When the conversation has already begun and lasted for some time, do not pause “for intrigue” or just to see how quickly he will write to you. No, this is not a reason to impose yourself, roll sheets of text and hang online around the clock. But it shouldn't be ignored just yet.
• Be careful with questions. Communication between two still unfamiliar people is like a two-way interview - through the right questions, you can learn a lot about a person. But do not overdo it: questions that are too personal, intimate, or for some reason unpleasant for a guy will by no means arouse his delight. If he clearly does not want to answer, take the conversation aside, even if the answer is important to you. You will receive it later. Try not to embarrass both of you with inappropriate personal questions.

VK, Odnoklassniki and other social networks. Action strategy

Modern social networks, where almost everyone has a profile with interests, and a whole portfolio of photographs, make it much easier to start communication. What to do if you found a guy online and want to start a conversation with him? Where to begin?

1. Firstly, do not rush to immediately write to him “in a personal” and ask a lot of stupid questions. If his application clearly says “I live in Krasnoyarsk” or “I love fishing”, there is no need to ask about the place of residence and interests. If you didn’t even bother to read the open information of the profile, how strong will your interest seem to the guy? It is obvious that this will not please him.
2. Secondly, it is not necessary to start acquaintance “on the forehead”. By sending him a message, little can be changed, and making a first impression again will not work. Look at his page, put a couple of likes if you watch through VK, or even leave a comment - not personal, but on the topic of the post or photo. And then wait at least half a day for a reaction. Perhaps he himself will be interested in a mysterious stranger? If he is “in active search”, then this option is also possible. Well, if not - proceed to more decisive action.

No wonder they say that the beginning is half the battle. The hardest thing is to take the first step.

To understand what a guy will react to, put yourself in his place.

How often do you get messages like “Hi! How are you?" from strangers? It probably happens at least regularly. An unshakable hand sends such messages to spam / blacklist / wastebasket (underline as necessary). And it’s not always in the mood to chat with another person who is bored on the Internet. How to be not just another obsessive fan, but an interesting interlocutor who you want to at least answer?

Start with something out of the ordinary. No, this does not mean at all that you need to describe the color of your underwear or start a conversation as if you had been talking half your life before. First, think about what unites you. Perhaps it is travel, some favorite places, hobbies, views on life? Then you can start like this:

Or the simplest:

"Hello! Judging by the photo, you really like to walk in the park. Me too! Let's exchange information about our favorite corners?”

The main thing is that you should not lie, except perhaps a little cunning. If you write about common interests, they must be, otherwise you simply won’t be able to keep up the conversation. Genuine interest or a polite request for help will be understood and warrant a response. The first bridge will be thrown, and then you can develop any topic you like. The main thing is not to spin with only one of them and move the conversation forward.

What if SMS?

Acquaintance is possible not only on the Internet, mobile phones give us no less range of opportunities.

Calling a stranger with nothing to do is ugly - after all, he may be busy, or perhaps he is simply not interested in a conversation. In this case, the output is SMS.

To make an acquaintance through the exchange of SMS, and most importantly - for the guy to answer you, you can choose one of these strategies.

• “I'm on business!” If you have already decided to take the initiative, then show it to the bitter end, that is, until the desired call and a date with the guy. Making an appointment is actually easier than you think! You can start a conversation with a purely business question. For example, like this:

“Rita Derzhavina said that you can help me with the dog. When can I call you?" At first glance, it’s not clear, but the SMS was sent on business - you need help, he doesn’t understand what exactly, but your mutual friend Rita (Masha, Valya, Petya - the main thing is that this person really exists and really was your mutual acquaintance) on referred to him, so you can’t do without him! He will at least answer to find out who you are and what's the matter. And if it turns out later that you need help walking a huge dog that the neighbors left for the weekend, then he will most likely agree.

By the way, walking dogs is much more interesting than repairing other people's computers or screwing in light bulbs - so choose the most attractive prospect for him. By the way, the dog should be as real as Rita.

• "Random error". Playing with a mistake is an option with a guarantee of success, because a correctly formulated SMS can both intrigue and alert - the guy will at least answer, and maybe call back.

You can send a message like: “So today at 6 in the park - everything is in force?” or “Can you do what we talked about tomorrow?”. If there is no answer for a long time, you can try again (but only once!), writing a clarification: “Check, yes - or have your plans changed?”, “Please answer, I need to know today.” A polite person will at least call back to clarify the situation and report the confusion. Well, to start a conversation after an apology and the phrase “it seems that your voice is familiar to me, your name is not Andrey by any chance? ..” will be easy.

Typical mistakes. How not to spoil the whole effect?

Often we ourselves spoil everything that we have achieved with such difficulty, and even the fragile relationship of a fresh acquaintance can be destroyed due to a ridiculous mistake. How to keep in touch and not do stupid things? What can and cannot be said in correspondence?

Avoiding mistakes is easy if you always follow certain rules of communication.

1. Don't be shy and don't shut yourself up. Being modest, of course, is good, but it works mainly in person. During correspondence, do not hesitate to renew the dialogue, keep the conversation going with questions. If this is not done, the guy will think that your interest has been exhausted, and besides, it will become unclear why you started the dialogue at all. It is very easy to get misunderstanding instead of the desired effect.
2. Do not scold him for untimely answers. People also have real life, perhaps there is something more important in it than idle chatter on the Internet. In addition to relatives, there is also work, household duties, leisure. A person cannot be online 24 hours a day, so do not be embarrassed by the fact that he answers with some delay. The main thing is to answer.
3. Be polite. Saying hello, thanking for the time spent together (albeit virtually) or for frankness is also an art. You probably don't want to deal with a boor, so behave yourself.
4. Do not worry. If he does not answer you for thirty whole minutes, but at the same time he is online and read your message, this does not mean that the world has collapsed and he does not like you! Perhaps he was distracted, perhaps he simply did not notice the message or is thinking about the answer. Do not be frightened and do not roll him the “sheets” of the text. Wait until he interrupts this pause.
5. Don't use swear words. Firstly, it doesn’t suit girls, and secondly, they testify to the general level of your culture. No one says that it is necessary to impose a lifelong taboo on a strong word - but it is not worth demonstrating vulgar abuse and bad education.
6. Write correctly. Reading a text with a bunch of errors is not only unpleasant, but also difficult. Do you remember the famous phrase “Execution cannot be pardoned”? After all, the interlocutor does not hear your intonation, does not see your eyes, all that he has is a text, and from it he will not be able to understand what you meant. In addition, even the deepest thoughts, expressed with spelling errors, cannot be taken seriously. If the author is so stupid that he did not master the spelling, is it worth listening to him? Do not abuse exclamation marks and dots. They will not tell you what a sensual and emotional girl you are. Usually they only mean that the author could not master the rules of punctuation. A competent text is both a pleasant impression and respect for the interlocutor. Try to put your emotions into words, not emojis, and re-read your messages before sending them. The word is not a sparrow, especially the printed word.

So, contact is established, messages are flowing like a river, and you have already got to know each other better. Are you still waiting for him to ask you out on a date? Why not do it first? After all, it was you who initiated the acquaintance, and the guy wants to know from you what you were striving for. Was it some light flirting on the internet, or did you have no one to talk heart to heart with? Or did you really like this person, and after talking with him, you began to understand this more clearly? If you choose the last item, who take a step forward.

How to invite a pen pal on a date?

Text. The most that neither is, in plain text. Write that you want to meet and tell why. Or maybe you can think of a good reason? Go to a performance or a skating rink together, play football or take a walk in the autumn square that you both love so much? If it's still too scary to signal a date, and you're not sure of success, don't talk about the meeting as a date. Say you're looking for company, and since you both love doing this and that, why don't you join forces? We are sure that he will appreciate this step and the virtual acquaintance will become real very soon.